2011 Christmas Letter

Occupy Kingman


The poorly executed protest ended ugly. Ann Marie insists that use of pepper spray was not necessary. And though I agree that the use of this agent was cruel and inhumane, it totally worked.

Inklings of the uprising started in October as Nina and Peter began to organize. Lists of grievances were compiled and shared electronically. Ideas were fermenting. By November a plan was hatched and the Occupy Kingman was in full swing as Thanksgiving rolled around. The children had set up a squatter camp in the basement. The protest was on.

At first, we were proud to see the kids expressing themselves and engaging in social activism. It appeared to be a decent and thoughtful exercise of democracy in our own home. We considered the whole deal a wholesome and educational family experience. The protest signs and marches were modest and cute. After all, it was just the two of them. We thought it would end by Monday.

But it did not end and quickly became an annoyance. Security became an issue, the children were continually looting the pantry. In-fighting began, the camp became split as the kids could not agree on what the movement meant. Peter camo-painted his face and demanded to be called Enforcer. Nina stopped washing or combing her hair and would pace around the camp reciting passages from the Constitution. We found that it is impossible to sleep with a drum circle in your bedroom. The makeshift sewer they hastily constructed in the garden and the open fire in the living room also had us concerned.

The messages coming from the Occupy Kingman camp were increasingly disturbing:

“We are entitled to every handheld electronic device and gaming system we desire… I will be unable to move from the couch without at least one hour prior notice… As part of my Basic Human Liberties I refuse to ingest store brand cereal…. As parents, agree that it is your fault if I fail to study or am late to school… No, I do not need a coat. Never ask me again. Ever… You must heat the house to a comfortable level.”

I could sort of see their point on the furnace issue.

Not surprisingly the Occupy Kingman movement eventually became violent. Despite what Ann Marie says I still insist that they initiated the aggression. And because I have chosen to take the high road in this matter, I refuse to list the countless acts of heinousness that were directed towards me, the trips to the emergency room, the bruises— the tears. It is enough to say that the time had come to end this thing. I pulled on my jack boots, raised my riot shield and went at the kids with the pepper spray.

Things are great here.