The world is becoming too easy to navigate: Press a button and a motorized mechanism will close the hatch on the SUV; heated blanket/robes with footies and zippers allow us to take our bed with us when we roll out of the rack; body wash saves us from the laborious task of pushing a bar of soap across our cans; and, of course, slip-on shoes have made bending over a distant memory. The Man is convincing us to be treated like veal—and we’re buying it. The time has come to take the hard path and face this great malaise. So after months of tremulous deliberation and a few days of training, I have embarked on the dream of a lifetime.
It may be hard to believe but after responding to an ad in Street Fighter Magazine I am just weeks away from a fulfilling career as a World Class Ass-Kicker. Early next year I leave for
I am not worried that my lack of street fighting experience will inhibit my rise to greatness in the Ultimate Fighting world. According to my new manager, competing against seasoned martial arts champions who have been training to maim and disfigure since they were 5-years-old is the best way “to hit the ground running” and “learn on the fly.” I am looking forward o putting myself to the challenge. My manager says that I will adjust to the extreme punishment and unbearable pain during these early bouts. I wish sometimes that I would have listened to the voices in my head much earlier; we must never forget to act on our dreams.
Things are happening so fast that it is blowing my mind. We finalized the sale of the house, cashed-out the mutual funds and liquidated the IRA just last week. Hobnobbing among the Ultimate Fighting elite does not come cheap! My manager assures me with the proper financial investment anything is possible. It was hard to cough-up our entire net worth but my manager says it will be a tremendous motivator. Anyway, soon enough I will be kicking ass and making wads of ass kicking cash.
It works out good because Ann Marie will finally be able to shed the chains of oppression that have so plagued her. She has enough of The System. She will pursue her lifelong dream of studying at The Supreme Academy of Non-biometric Thought. As you probably know, The Academy is doing ground-breaking research in sustainable lifestyles based on the timeless artistry of Shields and Yarnell. We feel fortunate to have the opportunity to get in on the ground floor of the future Salvation of the World. Ann Marie will be living in the main concourse at
Nina and Peter are experiencing good fortunate as well. They have decided to stay in
